SWARM!
May 20th, 2012 § 4 Comments
I am SO excited! For once, The Blog came to me. Last Monday, my visiting sister-in-law, Margaret, spotted a honeybee swarm on our property! I came home from work to find the house a-buzz with the talk of bees. Monday morning the bees began arriving and attached themselves to a cross-bar on an old arch that leads into an even older, untended garden. I ran down the driveway to check it out. There were BEES. LOTS OF BEES. HUNDREDS OF BEES. I was reluctant to get too close, lest they were an angry little mob. I like bees, and intend to keep them some day, but I don’t know much about swarm behavior. They paid me little or no mind and I got within 10 feet. I came back to the house for binoculars and got a closer look. Yep… honeybees! Interesting to watch – they formed a pear-shaped ball and it buzzed softly. Every so often, a few bees would fly off and about the same time a few would return. The returning bees would land and burrow into the swarm. It was pretty cool to watch, but I wouldn’t want to be 5 bees deep in that buzzy mass.
We (my hubby John, and our guests Margaret, Kathryn, and Phil) were a little concerned about the glob of stingers. We were discussing the options; concerns about the honeybee decline, the wish to avoid spraying, when Margaret hit upon a logical idea. Call a local beekeeper and ask if he/she wanted a swarm. (DUH, Mental Farmer.) I knew my sister had a beekeeper friend. I called her, then her friend Rodney, and he said he would be happy to attempt to capture this swarm as long as they were fairly close to the ground. They were 5 to 6 feet up, within easy reach. Rodney said bees swarm when hives become overcrowded or more than one Queen is present and that the bees would probably not stay put for more than 24 hours. He said they send out scouts to look for hollow trees or other perfect habitats and that once a scout found the right place the bees would leave our garden arch. Who knew? Rodney said he would arrive Tuesday a.m. by 8:30 or so and hoped the bees would still be in the same spot.
I got up early, excited! So did everyone else. My sister Dana came over with her hubby Paul. Rodney arrived and the science project began. 
The excitement in the air was like that of a kid’s field trip, only with grown ups and coffee. Rodney brought a cardboard box with a screen insert that allows air to circulate. Inside the box were 5 wooden frames for the bees to get between, as in a permanent hive. He put on his bee-proof helmet and jacket and he said the trick would be to get the Queen into the box. If successful, the bees would poke their rear ends up and dance around the edges of the box, sending up a scent to let the rest of the swarm know the Queen’s location. He said their sole purpose was to serve the Queen. I said “As it should be.” Dana’s husband’s eyes rolled all back in his head. (Dana said this meant the Queen had all the serving she was going to get for the day.)
Rodney spread out a tarp and set the box on it. He took a few minutes to figure out how to approach the situation. He began cutting the brush and vines away that might prevent lowering the swarm to the box. The bees clustered on an arch support and I told Rodney he could pull it off altogether if it would help. He gently pulled the support away and about a quarter of the swarm flew up, buzzed remarkably. They were obviously annoyed by the disturbance. The bees really weren’t interested in us, though. Some stayed on the arch, a bunch fell onto the box and the tarp, and the rest stayed on the post. None of it felt threatening or scary. The ball of bees that fell on the box sounded heavy when they hit, though it was a soft landing. Many crawled immediately down between the frames, some flew up. Almost instantly, a group of bees moved to the outer edge of the box, lifted their butts, and began a dance. This meant Rodney had successfully captured the Queen!
Rodney said we needed to leave the bees alone for a while and let them find their way into the box. He said he would probably get the majority, but that a certain number of bees were doomed. Turns out the Queen is their purpose, big time. Without her, they don’t really know what to do. (Sound familiar?) If they approach another active hive, they will be attacked and killed by the protectors of that hive; but if they stay put, they have no purpose and will die anyway. We retreated up the driveway to refill our coffee cups and give the bees some peace. We talked about bees, mites that attack bees, and the future of this swarm.
Once the bees arrive at their new home, they’ll stay in the temporary box for a couple of weeks, until they orient themselves to their new home. After that, they’ll be moved to a permanent super and begin producing honey and offspring. I hope to taste some of the honey produced by our little swarm when the time comes. Rodney said it will be a year before he harvests the honey from this swarm.
It’s Saturday night now, and we still have a patch of a hundred bees out on that garden gate… Beginning to wonder if I should have a Queen overnighted to give those little guys a purpose? Seems a shame to let them expire, especially since pollinators are so threatened. I don’t even know if that would work, but I may try it if they’re here Monday. Anyway, it was an exciting week here at the Flying L. Nature gave us another fascinating lesson.
Grocery Shopping 101
April 20th, 2012 § 2 Comments
I wrote the bit below in response to a post on Facebook. A new acquaintance from another country expressed confusion when faced with the choices in an American grocery store.
My thoughts:
Start at the 4th shelf up from the floor and work down one level. Top shelf (usually 5th) is over-the-top price wise, often not worth the money. Shelves 4 and 3 are what they WANT you to buy, mid to high quality, mostly high price. (Believe me, there is mega-math food science behind this!) In my opinion, shelves 4 and 3 are where you want to be for wine, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, truffle oil…. The treats (or necessities) in life.
Shelves 3 and 2 are a mix of prepared foods and household stuff and dry goods you can afford, but they are not the best of anything. (Know they may kill you if consumed regularly).
Shelf 2 is for household cleaners, garbage bags, etc. Think bulk. Stay away from the bottom shelf, unless you have to feed 19 kids… And bless their hearts if you do. Please buy produce and feed them unprepared foods at home. Please. Their little lives and hearts depend on it.
As for meat and produce you don’t find on those shelves, just go to local farms and markets to get the best! Learn what you are consuming, eat less meat and pay more for what you do consume. Nothing wrong with a local egg each morning for protein and meats in small portions once or twice per week. It all works out, price wise.
Happy fresh food shopping….
WEAVERVILLE REALTY
April 5th, 2012 § 1 Comment
Is where I work now! That’s right, I am the newest team member at Weaverville Realty and I can’t wait to show YOU around western North Carolina. Referrals welcome.
Just click on the link to the right, or email me at mary@weavervillerealty.net and say hi. Or say, “Mary, I wish to buy a fabulous home in the Asheville area. Won’t you represent me?” or something like that.
See you around town….
The Search for the Mysterious Benefactor (and a job)
March 31st, 2012 § 13 Comments
I am now unemployed and searching for a job. On the upside, I have enjoyed a warmer than normal spring filled with hikes, time with family, and reading outside. Very cool. For the past 25 years, springs have been a series of short lunch breaks spent staring at the sun, dreaming of ways to contract contagious illnesses so I could have ONE SUMMER OFF BEFORE I DIE. Now I have the spring (and possibly the summer) off and I desire employment. Not really, but I have BILLS. When one is employed, BILLS are annoying bits of paper that require attention on one’s day off. When one is not gainfully employed, BILLS are large and heavy and appear in the mailbox with increasing speed, as though each month is shorter than the last. (I check my bank balance regularly, yet no Mysterious Benefactor has appeared to make deposits to my checking account. And just this morning, I failed to win the biggest lottery in the history of the United States.) On the other upside, I have completed the required coursework for the North Carolina Real Estate Commission, and will soon join Weaverville Realty, (which makes me very happy) and work with my sister-in-law. Meanwhile, until I am scheduled for and pass the State exam and earn a commission, I must do something to pay those pesky BILLS.
Looking for a job is an interesting process these days. First, one searches online for advertisements for positions relevant to one’s work history. (All the while hoping the Mysterious Benefactor will appear with a job that is fun, exciting, pays well, and allows one to wear jeans to work. Said job will have at least 4 weeks vacation the first year and excellent benefits, and will be mine because I am a nice person and deserve it.) While waiting for the M.B., one must build and save search criteria for each type of work one is considering. This will take about 15 minutes per job search site. Once one creates and uses said searches, one begins “the process” of applying for relevant positions. And it is a PROCESS, friends….
Step one: Set up your “account” on prospective employer’s site. This involves filling in your name, address, phone numbers, social security number, addresses for last 7 years, agreeing to criminal background and credit checks, creating log in and password, and selecting a “reminder question” like your first pet’s name or your Mother’s maiden name. (Is it just me, or does it seem silly to do this BEFORE said Company shows any interest in the applicant?) This portion will take about 15 minutes.
Step two: Upload updated resume and hope it contains the key words and/or buzz words the Human Resources people are looking for this week. Find creative ways to include words like “degree” and “college” since you don’t have enough of either. The ads may say “or equivalent experience” but the software does not look for that. This step will only take 5 minutes.
Step three: Manually recreate the resume that you just uploaded (which was supposed to auto-populate the site) and correct all of the areas that populated incorrectly. Add the pieces of information that disappeared altogether for some reason. Spend time figuring how to manipulate data, as each company seems to have found entirely unique software packages designed to dissuade all but the most determined applicants. You can count on this taking at least 45 minutes to an hour. Click submit and pray hard.
Step four: This step varies; some organizations like to give little online tests to see if you have basic math skills, some have you answer a series of questions designed to tell them whether you are reasonably bright or completely bonkers, others test the applicant by posting, in RED CAPS, a list of “fields you failed to complete” during step three. The latter is my personal favorite…. I adore keying the information from step three a third time!</em. (I assure you, I completed each and every field and double checked my work. That's the kind of employee I am.) Anyway, this is good for 20 minutes of your time.
Step five: Create a cover letter targeted to the job and Company you are applying for. Some sites have a cut and paste feature, others force one to type the whole thing from scratch. Keying from scratch also means avoiding typos that will mark you as having "poor written communication skills" to this potential employer.
Step six: Repeat this 2 hour process for each job you are interested in! M.B., where are you???
Now, sit back and wait for contact. Almost all job advertisements say "NO PHONE CALLS ACCEPTED" and "DO NOT APPLY IN PERSON" as part of the ad. It is as though one's personal information and concentrated effort have flown into some black hole, never to be seen again. Almost all companies send a generic email stating they received your inquiry and they will let you know if you have a snowball's chance in you-know-where. It is best to wear your thickest skin while applying online, because many companies send (within 30 seconds) an email that says "Upon reviewing your resume, we have decided to pursue other candidates." Ouch… It only took 30 seconds to review and decline me after 2 hours of effort? Dang. Bear in mind, this process may go on for weeks, so keep that thick skin at the ready.
If you're lucky, the phone will ring in a few days and you will get to talk to a REAL PERSON. Sometimes it takes weeks for the phone to ring, but when it does, it is BIG. You get a few minutes to make a second impression! Then, if you're really, really lucky, you get to GO IN. GOING IN usually entails a couple of hours of getting ready. Getting ready takes time because you have to find the right outfit, and it will be strangely smaller than the last time you got to GO IN. (Probably because your skin is so thick now.) Once you are ready and GO IN, you will approach Human Resources by way of SECURITY. You should know SECURITY is one guy charged with keeping the disturbed former employee from gaining re-entry and he is SERIOUS about it, especially if your face rings a bell for some reason. Be nice and look him in the eye and do NOT fidget. Provided you make it past SECURITY without incident and get all the way IN, there will be TESTS! Drug tests! Typing tests! Personality tests! Credit and Criminal Background tests! Tests are administered by the newest person in HR. This person is usually as serious as SECURITY, because he or she just got IN and does not want to blow it. Some tests will be completed on the spot, like typing and checking to see if you have a personality. Others require filling out forms, which coincidentally, contain the same information you provided online just last week! (Where did it go?) Still others, like the drug test, require driving across town to sit in a waiting room full of scary looking people who are also waiting for drug tests, whom may very well fail.
The drug test is AWESOME! You get a little cup to pee in. You must leave your jacket and purse outside, because some applicants apparently purchase drug free urine and sneak it in in condoms in their purses or pockets. For the record, I would never put MY urine in my purse in a condom or anything else, much less anyone else's urine. Ick. Anyway, the water in the toilets is blue and you MUST NOT FLUSH. If you forget and flush, you have to stay there until the next time you have to pee, even if that is four hours away. For real! This is trickier than you might think, because whether conscious of it or not, you have been trained from birth to flush. Once you pee in the cup and don't flush, you carry the cup of pee out to the attendant. The attendant labels it before your eyes and has you initial the stickers on the pee cup, which she bravely flips onto its side for your signature. (She gets to wear gloves!) You must not break the CHAIN OF CUSTODY. If you break the CHAIN OF CUSTODY, all is void (ha!) and you must start over. This, thank heavens, is a better process than that time during the 80s when the Attendant went into the stall with you and waited for you to pee right in front of them. That shit was weird and had to be illegal.
After that, you go home and wait for contact again. If you pass the drug test, have a good personality, can type, have good credit, have not been convicted of a misdemeanor or non-violent felony in the last three years, you just might get to GO BACK IN! or, you may get an Unpointment!
I have an Unpointment next week! The Unpointment is a relatively new H.R. invention, and it still involves steps one through six above. In the case of the Unpointment, one receives a generic email inviting one to "stop by between the hours of 1 and 4 p.m. without an appointment" to visit the "staffing center," whatever that is. In my mind it is a room with two-way mirrors, from behind which H.R. people look at the job hunting monkeys and point to the ones they like, as powdered sugar from their H.R. doughnuts drifts gently down their shirt fronts to settle like little drifts at the ski resort they'd rather be visiting. The job hunting monkeys that get pointed at probably move to a second room where the newest H.R. team members wait with TESTS!
You may think I am cynical, but I am not! I still hold out hope for the M.B. She could swoop in any time like a good fairy and bestow that dream job upon deserving me by sprinkling H.R. powdered sugar from her doughnut on me and saying, "I don't even WANT to test you, dear." That would be right and just.
P.S. I think the Pee Attendant could not get ANY OTHER JOB, or she would be in it already.
Woodfin Market
March 25th, 2012 § 7 Comments
Yesterday, I went to the Winter Market in Woodfin, North Carolina. It is inside the YMCA, where it’s warm and dry. (At 40 North 
Merrimon Avenue, Ste. 101 in the Reynolds Mountain Complex.) The Market is open on Saturday from 10:00 a.m. until noon. You better hurry because there are only two more Saturdays left in this particular winter! It will be worth the trip - there were a dozen vendors (farmers) there with a very practical array of products for shoppers. I managed to speak with a few of the farmers and bought several items to try, all of them good buys.
Here’s the line up:
- Mudlucious Pottery and Gardens is a place I cannot wait to visit in person. They make pottery, raise chickens and bees, and sell the honey and and eggs. I like Cindy Trisler’s pottery a LOT. You can find them in Madison County.
- Lady Luck Flower Farm had buckets of beautiful tulips and tender mixed lettuces for sale. I purchased a bag of mixed lettuces from them, which were tender and delicious, not bitter. I checked out the web site and the farmers, Katie and Mike, raise beautiful flowers. You may pick your own, or order what you wish. Make sure you check out their photo gallery – the wedding flowers are gorgeous!
- Creasman Farms offered crates of beautiful, local Pink Lady apples, apple butter, and homemade apple muffins. The apples are smaller than your store bought apples, but the flavor is 5 times bigger. Those little apples pack some crunch and sweetness! The apple butter is dark and smooth, great with goat cheese. The muffin was quite tasty, big chunks of apple in it. (If I had tasted it before I gave half to my sister, I would not have shared.) They have several varieties on 35 acres and you can pick your own if you like.
- Paper Crane Farm was selling fresh, lightly peppery watercress. Yum! I will tell you about the salad I made for lunch yesterday in just a minute.
- The Pixie’s Pocket table held an impressive selection of flavored honeys. I of course chose one with chocolate in it. It’s called Mayan Chocolate Honey, and it tastes rich and dark, with just the right zing of hot pepper. The Head Pixie recommended serving it on top of goat cheese, in a strawberry. I think she is onto something, so it’s what we will have for breakfast today.
- Spinning Spider Creamery of Marshall, N.C., offered handmade goat cheeses. I tried four and liked them very well. I came home with a garlic and dill chevre and Midnight Sun bloomy cheese in a little wheel. The flavors are not subtle, the textures are varied and lovely.
- East Fork Farm raises grass fed lamb, poultry (chicken and duck), and rabbits. Since I am all stocked up on meat at home, I did not purchase from East Fork, but you can bet I will! My hubby loves duck and we both love lamb. I cannot wait to try the rabbit! When I looked at the East Fork Farm web site, I noticed a pretty little cabin for rent. Hmmmm.
There was a pasta vendor as well; she had a great selection of handmade pastas stuffed with all sorts of goodies, like mushrooms and cheeses. I will follow up with her next week, since we did not have opportunity to speak.
When I got home, I made a salad of fresh tender lettuces, watercress, Pink Lady apples, goat cheese, pecans, strawberries, and topped it with a drizzle of dark chocolate balsamic vinegar. I sat on my front porch to eat my lunch, looked out at the blooming trees and mountains in the background, and found the glorious spring day just about perfect.
I hope you will visit the Woodfin Y next Saturday. Check out the links to the right visit these farms at the markets listed on their sites, or check them out in person.
Bones and Lavender
March 7th, 2012 § 2 Comments
This has nothing at all to do with farming, but I had an interesting day once I finished studying for the Real Estate exam I face this weekend. First, I went for a walk with my cats, Amos and Rascal. They followed me on a half mile round trip to the top of our little mountain. They get more comfortable each time we hike. When we got to the top, I turned back and said, “Let’s go get a treat!” The two of them leapt up, ran down the steep brushy road, through the trees, over mounds of grass and down branches, ZOOM! Rascal veered off up a little grade into the pines, and came out the other side, tumbled down the red clay bank head over paws, bounced up and kept running! (Rascal is not particularly athletic, so this was a sight to see.) I ran, too, and I am no more athletic than Rascal. It was fun. I got winded, they got their treats.
After that, I folded up a brown paper bag, lunch size, and stuffed it into my pocket. Out for another walk, down to the river in search of BONES. The earth is heaving u
p all sorts of treasures this spring. A couple of days ago I found a skull, and nearby, two unattached jaw bones. The skull was not large; narrow, and there was a space between the back teeth and the front, like where you put the bit in a horse’s mouth. No canines. Must be a grass eater. Deer, I think. (The little mountain deer here are shy and petite, compared to their giant, corn fed, assertive northern cousins.)
Yesterday, I found more bones and left them in a little pile beside the road, since I had nothing to put them in but pockets and oddly enough that creeps me out. Today, I picked those up and found more bones in a new spot, a quarter mile away. Long ribs, a bunch of connected vertabrae, teeth separated from the jaw, and some triangular, flat things I have yet to figure out. A couple of leg bones.
My little paper bag was filled to bursting. I had a couple of long, narrow ribs and a leg bone hanging between my fingers. I came up out of the 12′ deep creek bed and as I popped up next to the road, a car passed me. There I was, paper sack with bones sticking out… and I WAVED before I thought about it… bones flailing from between my fingers, like that horror movie guy, Freddie. So much for meeting that neighbor.
As I hiked the steep hill back up to our place, I took some pictures. Rocks, a little cave that makes me wonder what lives inside that damp, dark crease beneath the stone. (Something cute, in my mind.) 
A muddy looking lichen… 
The creek from above,
native plants that I used to pay a LO
T for back in Illinois. I trekked home and deposited my new bone collection on the picnic table on our front deck. (Sorry, honey… I love this stuff and they will look SO COOL when we have folks over!)
Once in the house, I decided to take a hot bath to erase the tension from 7 hours studying contracts and math formulas. I filled the tub, dumped in some Dr. Somebody’s Lavender Soothe and Sleep foaming bath stuff, and poured myself a glass of Cupcake Chardonnay. I grabbed my newest read, ” The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie” by Alan Bradley. A murder mystery from a child chemist’s point of view that is first in a trilogy! Aaaah. Sunk into herbal bliss.
Life is good, right?
A little orange cat face popped up over the side of the tub. Meow. Meow. MEOW. ”It’s okay, Amos, I am just taking a soak.” I laid back and opened my book, took a sip of wine. Merow. Merow. Merow. MEROOOOWWW. This from a little black and white periscope face. “It’s okay, Rascal, Mama is just relaxing.” MEOW. MEROW. Eventually the two agreed I was not drowning and settled down, but they kept an eye on me. (Only a creature who has done something BAD is submerged in water that smells like lavender, right?) Anyway, I began to read about the corpse in the garden under the cucumber leaves.
The public radio station I inadvertently left on switched from local bands to FUNDRAISING! Bath over. But lavender permeates the house, cats are happy Mama didn’t sink and drown, my studying is done, AND I have artifacts worth drawing. A satisfying day, overall. Lavender and bones.
Madison County Farms
March 2nd, 2012 § 2 Comments
Oh boy! Look what I just found!
www.Madisonfarms.org contains a comprehensive list of local farms I can get to and enjoy, just down the curvy River Road! (working link in list to your right)
Thanks to Laura Boosinger for turning me on to the up and coming local meat pick up program, where one may procure grass fed beef, pork, lamb, rabbit, and eggs. Hurrah! I will visit soon and fill you in on all the farmy goodness!
Stay tuned.
FOR SALE
February 20th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
For sale: One very special, beautifully remodeled home in Saint Charles, Illinois. Four bedroom, 2.5 bath, new kitchen with granite counter tops, new hardwood floors, new patio, 1000′ s.f. deck. Cedar siding, new Marvin windows, many, many added trees and perennial flower beds, all nestled on a 1.8 acre lot. It’s a beauty! Email russellgroup1@yahoo.com if you know anyone who may be interested!
Frank Morgan, American Cowboy
January 27th, 2012 § 10 Comments
I saw on Facebook tonight that Frank Morgan of Marengo, Illinois passed away recently. I met Frank and Fran of Q7 Ranch this past Labor Day. Frank took the time to saddle up a horse for me and spend 4 hours teaching me all about grass fed beef, his delightful blue politics, and his plan for the Q7 Ranch. I was so impressed that I wrote a three part article and corresponded with him to get the details just right. Frank pursued a dream of raising grass fed cattle during “retirement” and was making significant entry into the restaurant scene in the Chicago area with Q7.
Speaking from very recent personal experience; when a family member is taken from you, it is important to live in the happiness, the love, unique gifts that person had to offer. The way that person pursued their passions, loved their family, gave back…. That is where the focus should be. It is inevitable that unfinished business will plague someone, cause an internal struggle, pull at a heart or psyche. But the love is the most important thing.
I picture this particular cowboy riding sunbaked, happy, watching over a deserving herd. Crossing creeks, squinting into the sun, reveling in the moonrise…
I hope that is where Frank Morgan’s family will find him… I hope they can go out to the pasture under a full moon and meet him there and say goodbye. Maybe have a little campfire, a toast, glasses raised in the flickering light, ashes sprinkled if it is what has been chosen.
The cowboy will ride away, heart full, looking back over his shoulder. He will see the moon glance off the water, the love in their eyes, the bond… They will see Frank’s love for them in his eyes… and this last glance will give them a little something to keep forever.
The Best Video of 2011
December 29th, 2011 § 3 Comments
My friends, Terry and Pat, sent me this video. It is my favorite of all 2011! Www.gigglewithegoats.com
Check it out.
